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Reflection of 2013

As it is now 1/2/14 and I have no official goals for next year, I figured I should probably start by reflecting on last year's resolutions and seeing how we did:

 goals for 2013:
1. don't lose my engagement ring in a body of water.
2. brew more beer, eat less carb loaded food.
3. work more effectively and efficiently. 
4. stronger and leaner body by 10%
5. Go back to grad school by 2014.

 How it actually turned out:
1. Success! I didn't lose my ring at all or any diamonds out of it, which was an underlying fear.  However, we decided a year to the day after putting it on my finger, following through with the wedding was not in either of our best interests.  I'm sure after all the pain and hurt I'm going through right now have a chance to fade, I will be able to write more and reflect on all the amazing things we both learned from each other.  

 2.  Success!  I ate a LOT less carbs, and I brewed 6 batches of beer.  Nothing else needs said on this topic. I plan to continue this trend in 2014.

 3.  Success! I got an office so I am doing much better at working while I am at work but not working while I'm not here.  I've accepted I don't work a normal job and some days I'm more productive with a book that has nothing to do about anything and a cup of coffee at Friends than doing any actual work. I feel lucky to have a job where I can work when I can, don't work when I can't, and have the freedom to be creative.  I've also really worked hard at launching my swim lesson instructor website concept.  It's in beta and i'm so excited!!!

 4. Well......... I lost 18 or so pounds which was just shy of my 10% goal.  

 5. Fail. Fail. Fail.  There will be no grad school in my near future, and I'm seriously considering putting that dream off for a while. There are a TON of books out there to read and well...they are free and/or considerably cheaper than college.  So is Coursera.  And, I decided to take up guitar, which I think is equally (if not better) for my brain and for now, i'm going to explore this new journey. In reality I don't think this plan failed, but I think that because I had this goal I did a better job of paying on my school loans I already have.... i think this "resolution" was more of an evolution.  

 2013 Highlights:
Also known as "My list of positives"

  • Got a $3,000 raise.
  • Stopped teaching and am now fulling supporting myself by coaching and swim related activities
  • Developing www.swimlessoninstructor.com
  • Got an office for Piranhas. 
  • Bought my first new car.
  • Hired by my adoption agency to work with birthmothers and develop our first birthmom retreat!
  • Was hired to direct a 5k obstacle course race.  I know nothing about 5ks and obstacles or fundraising, but think I did a pretty good job for having no clue what I was doing.
  • Stayed in a committed relationship for 2 years. That's a personal record.
  • Decided to stay true to myself.
  • Piranhas hit swimmer #70 (actually #72) by the end of the year. This is also a record.  My goal has always been 75 and now it's like RIGHTTHERE
  • Taught a record number of swim lessons in 2013.
  • Joined Kiwanis.
  • Joined Salem Chamber
  • Coached the Lake Erie Zone Team
  • Served on several Lake Erie Swimming committees this year. 
  • Sent a swimmer to Quads, Zones.  I have one of the top swimmers in the state. I need to remember she is fast because she believes in me and my coaching philosophy.  
  • Hosted our first USA Swim Meet.
  • Continued to heal from the adoption, including the journey of building a relationship with my biological daughter and attended another birthmother's retreat and met some really amazing birthmoms
  • Saw Abby's biological father for the first time since placing her, didn't murder him and was surprised by my indifference to seeing him.  Successful moved on from that relationship and for that I am proud. 
  • Bought orthodics. I'm old.  Shrug.


 I am excited for 2014, although  I enter it with sadness as I am moving on from one of the greatest relationships of my life.  It's going to take me a little white to pick up the pieces.  It's a lot easier to be strong when you are angry.  This one is going to take a little while, and for the time being, I'm going to enjoy the feelings.  There was a time when I refused to let myself feel and I would numb pain and I no longer do that.  Instead, I'm going to let myself feel for a while and when I'm ready I will start picking up the pieces and letting myself heal. 

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