Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from May, 2018

"I am getting better at self-care, but why do I feel guilty when I do it?"

I proposed this question today to my therapist.   First, and this is just my speculation.... I think women have this guilt complex and not men.  I'm guessing some men have it, but not like women.  And here's why: because women care. We care how we are perceived, received, and we want each and every person we interact with to know we care... whether or not that person is worthy of our caring.   We want to be liked, loved, respected. We feel obligated to be perfect/pretty/allthethings /. ..all the different hats we wear we are expected to excel at them My therapist explained it like this:  We feel guilt because we are the minority and have had to strive and maintain our position each and every day, every day, all the time. [Yep-women are a minority, especially in the business world.] So this is probably true for all minorities, too. But especially for us women. And this guilt comes from a place where we have had to strive to get where we are.  And there

THE truth, MY truth, and BELIEF

When you look at this picture, what do you see? Let me start out with how awesome this picture is. I'm standing on a roof, with this amazing sky, in my wedding dress, with the love of my life on the day I felt most beautiful.  Ever.  My hair was done professionally, my makeup was done professionally. I spent 4 years losing weight to be a healthy and active body.  My hometown is below us, where I am building a dream career.  My husband thinks my part of the picture looks kind of like a beach, with the surf receding off to the right...especially when the photo is in black in white. I'm holding handmade paper flowers, where some pages are pages from a book. Guys.  I CLIMBED ON A ROOF IN MY WEDDING DRESS.  WILLINGLY. I'm standing in the snow, and I can still feel the cold of the snow on my shoes. I remember the moment thinking of how sure I was in choosing a partner, that I was excited to be married and to build our partnership...and life, together.  It was the start