On boundaries and being enough.

IT IS OK TO SET BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOU.

It is OK to say no to things that are overwhelming or 'too much" for you.

It is OK to protect your mental health and wellbeing fiercely.

You deserve to be healthy, mind-body-spirit.

Remember: guilt is "I did something bad" and shame is "I AM bad." You are NOT a bad human for making an adoption plan...You are a loving and caring human, capable of great love (because without the capacity for great love, we would not grieve so deeply)

Saying NO to something that is not part of your core values or desires on how you wish your life..is OK.

When someone else places guilt (or shame) on you for sticking to your boundaries, that is a reflection on them and their own insecurities.

Delete the texts that you ruminate in that make you feel you are not enough. 

Love yourself enough to walk out on an event or person when they cross the boundary you have set. 

You can calmly say "I told you that topic was off boundaries. I will not tolerate being spoken to that way. I love you but I respect myself enough to not continue to let you speak to me that way. We can try again tomorrow"

This holiday season partake in activities that bring you love, joy, and belonging.

You are brave.

You are loving.

You are kind.

You are enough.

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THE truth, MY truth, and BELIEF

When you look at this picture, what do you see? Let me start out with how awesome this picture is. I'm standing on a roof, with this amazing sky, in my wedding dress, with the love of my life on the day I felt most beautiful. Ever. My hair was done professionally, my makeup was done professionally. I spent 4 years losing weight to be a healthy and active body. My hometown is below us, where I am building a dream career. My husband thinks my part of the picture looks kind of like a beach, with the surf receding off to the right...especially when the photo is in black in white. I'm holding handmade paper flowers, where some pages are pages from a book. Guys. I CLIMBED ON A ROOF IN MY WEDDING DRESS. WILLINGLY. I'm standing in the snow, and I can still feel the cold of the snow on my shoes. I remember the moment thinking of how sure I was in choosing a partner, that I was excited to be married and to build our partnership...and life, together. It was the start

Dear Birth Mother on Mother's Day Weekend:

Dear Birth Mother on Mother’s Day Weekend: Note: Trigger warning, a myriad of (necessary) emotions, and long <3 --- This weekend will be hard. Mother’s Day is always hard. There’s just no “amazingly awesome way!” to really celebrate the life you gave to the world: the child who is here because of you but isn’t here with you. It’s not really our day, but….it is. This otherness is such a weird place. I know….I live it. If this is your first weekend of Mother’s Day as a birth mother, this will be ridiculously difficult. If you’ve done this whole Mother’s Day weekend for a decade, or what feels like a lifetime, this will be ridiculously difficult. If you have other children at home that call you mom, this will be ridiculously difficult. It’s worse when people don’t acknowledge it, isn’t it? They think if they don’t mention the child you don’t have, it will somehow make it easier on you. They think they’re helping because they don’t want to add pain to your pain. They don’t get it… ….th

Because

Because- for the first time in her life she felt The world wasn't too much on her skin And as she was showing you how she is most alive Instead- your discomfort of her experience seeped from your walls Because- she wrote and then she took a brave, deep breath as she peeled down the last of her walls And asked you if you wanted to hear the inner parts of her soul Instead- you said "No" Because- while she was rediscovering the joy of mother earth The joy she hasn't felt since a mere child of 5 From the first memory she has of covering up herself lest she make a man lust As the crisp cool breeze touched her warm, damp skin; as she felt the cool evening grass between her toes as the fire warmed the inside of her thighs. Instead- your discomfort escaped into the universe with a single word- weird. Because- inside her soul felt connected to her skin, spilling out into the moonlight And although she trusts herself fully And she is newly raw And instead of welcoming he

In Perpetual Pursuit

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