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Introducing Abigail Leigh!


Abigail Leigh was born on 2/27/11 at 11:20 a.m.  She weighed 7 lbs, 10.8 oz and was 20" long.  She is absolutely beautiful. 


I know many of you are confused, since you have read the pregnancy posts and the post pregnancy posts...but have been asking, "Did I miss something? Where is the baby?!?"
    She lives with her parents.
      Yes, I said her parents.  Abigail is my biological daughter; but I am not her Mommy.  Her Mommy is a fantastic person I am lucky to have connected with.  Someone that is ready to raise a child because she can make personal sacrifices to make sure that Abigail will have the best life possible.  



      Who's the daddy?  

      To eliminate any further discussion on this topic: Yes, I know who the father is, but he is not her Daddy.  Her Daddy is the man I now entrust with her life; the man that I met in October and thought, "Yes, he is someone whose values my biogical daughter should have, and she will have a better life because of him."  

      Yes, I know who the "Y Chromosome Contributor" is; yes, he knows about her; and no, he was not interested in her.  No, I am not upset  by this fact. It disheartens me to think that someone would not want to know their own biological child on some level, but ultimately, he made that decision for himself.  I am actually thankful on multiple levels that he was not involved during the past 10 months.  I am thankful to know many men that would (and have) jumped on the chance to be part of her life, and these are the ones that continue to be involved with my life, and Abigail's. 


      I truly believe every child deserves to know where they come from and be loved by as many people as possible; and, I hope, for Abigail's sake, I hope he reaches out in her lifetime and truly wants to know her and see what a wonderful young woman she will become. 

      Who's to judge?

      I am fully aware that  people are going to judge me for what I chose to do with her.  Some people are going to think I am doing a wonderful thing, while others are going to think otherwise. Both are ok; you are entitled to your own opinion.  

      The first time someone told me they didn't want to be around me because of my decision, I sobbed.  The next time I was judged because I chose not to keep my child --which was just the other day--it didn't bother me at all.  That is how I know I have made the right choice. 

      I just ask, that before you are quick to judge a birth mother in a negative way for giving up her child, that you consider the people that you know and love, and ask yourself if anyone of them is adopted.  I guarantee you love someone that is.  Without people like me, you wouldn't have your loved one.  

      And to everyone who has been supportive--Thank you for being there for me through all of this.  

      Pregnancy

      The best way to describe my pregnancy was a "genetic surrogacy."  I decided early in the pregnancy that I could not offer her the life I wanted her to have--A financially stable home with two loving, married parents--and started the process of an Open Adoption.   The process and decision was not sad, nor was it difficult.  It was right.  The entire process has been a personal journey of healing and reflection; and I have become--a continue to be-- a much better person because of it. It is amazing when you fight for something you believe in, how much simpler making the right choices becomes.  They just lay themselves out in a line and making the right choice just seems obvious.  Often, you look back in wonderment of all the right choices you have made, especially after you have made a lot of wrong ones in the past.

      If you think, however, the process was easy, I regret to inform you it was not.  "Easy" would have been having an abortion so no one ever knew I was pregnant.  (No, I am not judging anyone that has an abortion. It is your right to choose.)  

      Yes, it was hard to "give her away".  But, for me to "keep her" and give her the life I would have wanted? That would have been impossible. 

      Open Adoption

      The terms adoption and open adoption scare a lot of people.  A closed adoption would mean that I would sign away my rights and never see her again or be able to know what happens to her.  Open means there is contact throughout her life.  There are different degrees of openness in an adoption process, but by working with an adoption agency you are able to find a match degrees of openness, and with qualities and values you would want your child to have.

      To summarize what an open adoption entails for me is challenging to describe in a few simple sentences, but I will try:
      • She has her own parents, although I am her biological mother. 
      • I got to choose the best parents for her.
      • She will always know she was adopted and that I was her birth mother.  I hope this will lead to a positive relationship in our futures.
      • I will have a role in her life on terms that we have agreed upon

      Everything Happens for A Reason

      As cliche as this may sound, it is the driving force of my faith and what I believe. I am well aware that things will change as life goes on.  Things always change, and even the best planning cannot guarantee the outcome we have so meticulously tried to achieve.  I will not even delve into what this has meant for me over the past two years; that is entirely another post altogether. 

      I will leave you with this: 
      I am secure in my decision and I am open to discussing the process with anyone. Please ask if you have questions.  I am always willing to answer them. 


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